Whales in San Joaquin Delta

FrankBlunt · Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 6:03 pm Post subject: Whales in San Joaquin Delta

I've had it with the mainstream media, especially their emphasis of late upon the whales in the San Joaquin Delta (Story link is below, or search the web for Whales and "Rio Vista" for sources other than MSNBC).

Two Whales Spotted Near Rio Vista

Not once, but twice, the local news service in Sacramento covered the tale of a boy named Alfredo who was selling water and soda to whale watchers. The field reporters attempted to manipulate the home audiences into believing that this venture between little Alfredo and Papa Alfredo was somehow original. No, never in history has a boy under the age of 12 erected a table, or carried an ice chest, outdoors and sold refreshing drinks to crowds on sweltering Spring or Summer days. Mark my words: Alfredo is a pioneer. All praise the mighty Alfredo! Hip hip... Hooray! Hip hip... Okay, that's enough of that.

My suggestion is to harpoon the whales and establish an annual Wayward Whale Blubber Festival in Rio Vista, CA. Deep fried blubber, blubber on a stick, blubber pool bikini wrestling, and Blow Hole-In-One Golf Challenge could be staples for dining and entertainment.

I don't know what sort of marine biologists with whom the press is communicating, but when wild animals are injured severely, they separate themselves from the collective (Pod in the case of whales) in the interest of conspicuousness and safety. I'm not a bit surprised that the whales set their sights on fresh water where their customary habitat would be unaffected.

The last thing the government should do is guide the whales back to the SF Bay. The government need only dispose of the carcasses once they're dead.