Kids ain't dumb!

Bebi · Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 3:40 pm Post subject: Kids ain't dumb!

TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
________________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the
floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
________________________________________

TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER :
Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
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TEACHER : Goss, why do you ! always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of
the alphabet."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day,
same time."
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the
same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
__________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.

_________________
It is those who are perfectly sane who are driven the maddest by an insane world...

There is method behind my madness

Bebi · Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 5:25 pm Post subject:

Sunday School Humor

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

**********

A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

**********

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

**********

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.

"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

**********

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

_________________
It is those who are perfectly sane who are driven the maddest by an insane world...

There is method behind my madness