Paranormal, Courtroom Based, Comedic Play

FrankBlunt · Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:30 pm Post subject:

Will Prudence be hiring an in to ist her with the untimely demise of Garth Bader, given the harment she suffered? Stay tuned...

FrankBlunt · Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:24 pm Post subject:

Bailiff Anderson clears his throat and prepares to shout in the direction of the men's restroom.

Prudence hangs up the pay phone and returns to the courtroom to ascertain the whereabouts of her Java The Hut latte.

Anderson pants, and paws nervously at his neck.

Anderson: You in there, Russell?

Jack is kneeling respectfully before the P.C. (Porcelain Creator), not praying, and is in no position to answer questions at this juncture.

Jack: Bwah! Ahh!

Being that he is pathologically paranoid and emotionally unstable, Anderson is prone to taking everything personally.

Anderson: That's Bailiff Anderson, you feisty little mutt!

Anderson bursts into the men's room and chooses to exclaim, "Ah ha!", with fervent conviction, even though no one is visible upon entry.

Anderson: Ah ha!

Anderson hurls the psi-dodecahedron that failed to meet Prudence's standards of taste at the stall door where he can hear someone clearing his throat.

Jack: Bwaugh! Ahh! (Hoarse, and thankfully without the trots) What are you doing?!

Anderson: Mind your own business, Russell! Anyway, you can't leave the courtroom while you're being sworn in.

Jack: Bwah! Ahh! You ended that sentence with a preposition. (Continues paying his respects) Bwah! Ahh!

Anderson thinks to himself for a moment, moves his lips in the attempt to remember how he addressed Jack, and then becomes wise to the derailment.

Anderson: (Shaking head while right eye ticks) If you don't come out of there this instant...

Jack: Bwah! Ahh! (Pauses) Did you want me to vomit on you, or on Josie's copy of The Satanic Verses, Bailiff Anderson?

Anderson tilts his head from side to side, acknowledges the emergent nature of Jack's situation, and drops the budding psi-dodecahedron in his right hand onto the floor behind his shoes

Anderson: Well... no. Proceed Mr. Russell, and uh... get well soon. I'll see you back in court momentarily.

Anderson removes one of many 3 by 5 index cards from his left shirt pocket reading "Sorry", and places it below the stall door where Jack presently crouches.

The apology phase of Anderson's 12 step rage group has shown mixed results, and handi-wipe sales at the local drug store have never been higher. Amends were supposed to be expressed face-to-face, but an exception was made to reduce the work load at the dry cleaners until such time as they could hire additional staff.

Anderson exits the restroom.

Prudence re-enters the courtroom while shaking off the residual pain of Garth's remote battery, ranging from superficial to pleasurably invasive.

Judge Edwards sits quietly in his chair admiring Steno-Bot 1982's durability.

Josephine's stomach grumbles for a wookie.

Jacquelyn relaxes in Bailiff Anderson's absence.

Mr. 13 peels ectoplasm scraps from his face that promptly snap back into place, leaving welts.

Jessica is slurping Jane Mary's home-made strawberry gelatin from one of those plastic containers with a burpable, stay-fresh lid.

Five yanks out a new plug of chaw but nearly spits it across the room, chuckling at Jessica's whimpering as banana slices jam her straw.

Prudence: What happened to my Luke warm Vanil-Lea latte, Your Honor?

Josephine's short-term memory is triggered by Prudence.

Josephine: (Crying) I want my wookie... and my Han Solo!

The shouting distracts Mr. 13 from his careful grooming.

Mr 13: Ow!

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