Bebi
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Dirty jokesStartling Sex Therapy
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation, so he decided to go to the doctor.
He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."
That same day, the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife.
At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position.
The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?"
The man answered, "Not that well ... when I fired the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit 3 inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
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Bebi
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Firm This Up!
One morning a woman was making breakfast for her lazy arse pig of a husband. He came into the kitchen, scratching his balls, which is the male equivalent of yawning. He grabbed his wife's ass and said: 'You know, if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle'. She gritted her teeth and ignored the silly b******d.
The next morning, as she was in the Kitchen, reading this weeks Take a Break, her husband came down, farted, and grabbed her boob and gave it a pinch. He said 'You know, if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra'.
Now, she had PMT, she felt bloated and there was no coffee left. So she grabbed his penis in a death lock and said: 'you know, if you firmed this up we could get rid of the pool guy, the milkman, the gardener AND your brother!'
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Bebi
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>Subject: Coincidence...
>
>A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a
>glass of champagne.
>
>The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of
>champagne, too!"
>
>"What a coincidence," he said. "This is a special day for me. I'm
>celebrating."
>
>"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating." says the
>woman.
>
>"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked,
>"What are you celebrating?"
>
>"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my
>gynaecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
>
>"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all
>my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized
>eggs."
>
>"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
>
>"I switched cocks," he replied.
>
>She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!
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Bebi
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Peeping Tom...
This Girl I know, lives on the 7th floor of an apartment,
and even though it is a fairly good neighborhood
she has been having trouble with a Peeping Tom
that lives next door...
Every time she goes out on her balcony to catch a bit of sun
while wearing her bikini this peeping tom looks over from
his balcony and stares at her...
She has complained to the superintendent about this
peeping tom, but he says she must have positive proof
before he can do a thing -
She FINALLY got a picture of him while he was staring at her... !
Scroll down...
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